Friday, February 02, 2007

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggety-jog

We just returned from a few days in Chicago and a mini-reunion with Ernie’s siblings. It was an exciting place to be this weekend, with everyone, including our three-year-old great-nephew, Jack, interspersing their conversation with “Go Bears.” Apparently Jack also proclaimed this in church. Loudly.

We have been making this trip on I-94 for over 40 years, so I am always looking for ways to enliven the journey. There is usually something interesting on the billboards. I marvel as we approach the cities with radio or TV stations: there are pictures of a series of interchangeable media “personalities”, all with the same hairstyles and veneered teeth. Usually at least one is called Biff or Buzz. He’s generally the weatherman. I mean, meteorologist. Accu-weather meteorologist.

This trip a billboard caught my eye.


When we got closer, I saw it was a Chase Bank advertisement, which continued, “our ATMs are twice as fast.” There are lots of things banks could do faster, but I am not sure of the theory behind speedy ATMs. I mean, first you have to enter your PIN. You don’t want to do that quickly, because if you make a mistake, the machine is liable to eat your card. Then you have to stipulate whether you want the money from checking or savings. Exercise care, because if you remove money from the wrong account, we could be looking at bounced checks. Enter the amount with caution. If you want $20, you could land up with $200. Or vice versa. Then when the money comes whizzing out of the slot, you need to take your time. Put the money in your wallet, remember to take the receipt, put the card away carefully. Haste means dropping your cash or losing your card.

So why does Chase boast about faster ATMs? I use their machines regularly because my Credit Union doesn’t have ATMs dotted around Grosse Pointe. How could Chase make me happier? By removing their $2 fee for non-members of course. That’s an advertising slogan that would excite me:


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