Mot Juste

I ate breakfast on Wednesday idly planning how I was going to spend my day. By late afternoon I was sitting stranded on a runway on a plane with lightning flashing all around me and by dinner time I was landing at Reagan International in DC, en route to Maryland and some emergency baby sitting.

Thank heaven for the Metro, which took me right from the airport to Rockville. While waiting on the platform at Metro Center where I changed trains, I had the opportunity to listen to some public announcements. I was somewhat confused by one suggestion:

...If you see someone leave a bag or package, kindly ask them, "Is this yours?" If they do not take it, call the transit authority police...

Does that mean "ask in a friendly, concerned tone of voice?" In that case, shouldn't it be "ask them kindly"? Surely it can't mean "please be good enough to ask them?" As in, prithee ask them. Besides, if I ask nicely, is someone going to reply equally nicely, "Yes, it is mine. I was just about to leave a large quantity of semtex on the platform, but you have asked politely, so I will remove it?" Homeland Security has much to answer for.

But the Metro has got one thing right. In all their announcements they refer to the likes of me as their "customers." Please move to the center of the car to allow customers to enter. None of this fancy "clients" or, horror of horrors, "guests." That's what we are, paying customers. Now, about the use of the word "kindly"...