A Matter of Degree

I do not have a Ph.D. Lots of people I know have earned this distinguished degree. I am, however, ABD, but that is about as much use as a maxi-skirt in Paris Hilton’s wardrobe.

Why am I telling you this? Well, you see, I am a bit forgetful and if I should be applying for a job or creating a resume, I want to be sure I don’t “make a mistake” about the degrees I have earned. It appears that this was the fate of the Director of the Detroit Zoo. In common with a number of public officials and former football coaches at Notre Dame, he claimed to have earned a Ph.D., while in fact “it never got finalized” and he omitted to take it off his resume. The obvious question is, “What was it doing there in the first place?” What about the little matter of orals, and signatures, and diplomas and transcripts?

I suppose we could ask why someone at the Detroit Zoo didn’t check his credentials more carefully when he was hired, but I am not an investigative reporter. I just want my friends to keep a close eye on my claims. And my integrity.