Friday, February 09, 2007

Unabashedly Plagiarized

I always welcome Friday as the day I can read what John Copeland has been up to in the past week. His weekly post is regular as clockwork and summarizes not only his own life, but also the events of the past seven days in England. This week he cites an excerpt from the BBC web site of February 3. I can’t figure out the BBC archives, so here is John’s account:

As I so tiresomely remark, although there are great miseries in living in a country in terminal economic and social decline, there are some amusing moments. On today's BBC web site, for example, a Home Office minister has suggested in all seriousness that people should "distract" potential criminals, including terrorists, while waiting for police to arrive by jumping up and down. Have you ever heard anything so funny, encountering a terrorist and then jumping up and down whilst waiting for Mr. Plod to eventually turn up, presumably saying during the gyrations to the evil one: "Turned out nice, hasn't it?" Jump, jump. "Have you come far?" I am convinced the country has gone totally barking mad.
I learned yesterday that the Department of Homeland Security has the lowest morale of all the Government Agencies. Maybe Michael Chertoff should lead them in aerobics every morning.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Maggie Hadland and the Plate of Plain Spaghetti

Anyone who read my post on Richard Dimbleby and the great spaghetti caper, and tracked down the links to the Panorama site which included the passages I quoted, may have been taken aback by the supercilious, but none the less true, comment toward the end of the story:

Lending the hoax credibility, was the fact that spaghetti was not a widely eaten food in Britain in the 1950s and was considered by many to be very exotic.
During that period my brother and I ate our “school dinner” in the middle of the day and when we arrived home from school, my mother would ask, “What do you want for tea?” Before we could make any meaningful request, she would embark on the daily litany, where each suggestion was followed by ONTOAST, as in bakedbeansontoast, scrambledeggontoast, friedeggontoast and maybe the disgusting sounding, but probably more nutritious, sardinesontoast. Then, of course, there was spaghettiontoast. By spaghetti, she didn’t mean the long, white strands of pasta, cooked al dente and served with a tasty red sauce. No, she meant short, flaccid, worm-like objects, swimming in a sea of tomato sauce. Their descendants are now marketed as “Spaghettios”. My mother, along with the other housewives of Enfield would have nothing to do with the real thing, so blatantly Italian, so close to the end of the war.

Obviously when I arrived at college I had much to learn. I lived in Lindsell Hall, a hall of residence in Swiss Cottage converted from a row of houses that in their former life could have been the backdrop for a slightly shabby Upstairs, Downstairs. We lived under the eagle eye of the Dean, Dr. Leslie, and her cronies, Matron and Cook. During the week Cook was responsible for breakfast and dinner and we were expected to eat lunch in the college dining hall. But on those days when we had no lectures, or (can it now be told?) played hooky, we had to fend for ourselves in the efficient little kitchinettes found on each floor of Lindsell. It was here that I encountered Maggie Hadland cooking pasta. A pan of boiling water, a hand full of spaghetti, a little butter and parmesan cheese, and she had a lunch fit for a king. I thought she epitomized sophistication. How did she ever learn such culinary expertise? Didn’t she come from Northampton? This was one of the defining moments of my undergraduate career.


Here we are lined up in the garden of Lindsell Hall. I think there were more people off to the left, but the photo I have was truncated. The third person down from Maggie is Matron and that’s the Dean sitting next to her. I am not sure where Cook was. Probably scouring Mrs. Beeton for a recipe for spaghetti.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Time Waster on a Freezing Day


Remember I said I wouldn't waste time on silly computer tricks? I sorta meant it, but I found this via The Usual Suspects.

If you have a blog, give it a try.

Monday, February 05, 2007

For Better or For Worse

No, I am not going to write a homily on the estate of Holy Matrimony. For Better or for Worse is the name of a comic strip I have read with enjoyment for at least sixteen years. It chronicles the lives of the Pattersons of Toronto: dad John is a rather dull dentist, mom Elly is an erstwhile bookshop owner and coffee drinking mother. Son Michael is a budding author, married to pharmacist Deanna. They have two kids, and in the period of the last couple of weeks, they have been burned out of their apartment and Michael has sold his first book. Daughter Elizabeth is a newly qualified teacher with some bumps in her road to romance and her sister April suffers from the normal teenage angst. There’s grandpa Jim and assorted hangers on. Anyone who wants the low-down on them all can go to the official website, where I admit I learned a lot more than I really cared to know.

As I noted, I enjoy this comic strip. There are a number of comics I do not enjoy (and their numbers are multiplying), but I simply ignore them. I do not get vituperative. I recently discovered, however, that there is a whole cottage industry dedicated to bashing the Pattersons.

Now I admit that Anthony is a bit of a wuss, but I can’t believe someone went to all the work to write a whole article entitled “Why I hate Anthony,” using a lot more research than the writer ever used for a college essay on The Faerie Queene. So what if Anthony has a creepy mustache. Only a sick person would think “porn star”.

The insiders tell us that Lynn Johnston, the creator of the strip, is not well and the Patterson saga will soon end. I’m not much of a dog person, but when smelly old Farley went to the big kennel in the sky, I choked up a bit. So I go on record. If we have to say good-bye to the Pattersons, I for one will shed a tear.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Legacy

I read Obituaries. The writers have a few short sentences to sum up the life and legacy of the deceased. An obituary in today’s Free Press caught my eye. First it was the photo: a handsome man, a casual, comfortable pose. Then it was his birth date: a year to the day after I was born. His brief biography inferred an interesting life, but without details it would be supposition. What I can say with certainty, and I am sure the family of Randy Eaton will not object, is that the final words of their tribute leave no doubt that he was a special man:

In the spirit of Randy’s life, the family requests well wishers, in lieu of sending flowers, to simply hand a twenty-dollar bill to a total stranger.

I’m sorry I never met him.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Happy Birthday, Eleanor

Eleanor is three today, and all the usual Detroit suspects joined her for a birthday dinner. Cassoulet and salad for the over-9 group, chicken strips and fries for the little guys. There were eight in that category, and it is amazing how well they all play together these days. Eleanor is now the proud owner of a bike and can't wait for the warm weather to try it out.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggety-jog

We just returned from a few days in Chicago and a mini-reunion with Ernie’s siblings. It was an exciting place to be this weekend, with everyone, including our three-year-old great-nephew, Jack, interspersing their conversation with “Go Bears.” Apparently Jack also proclaimed this in church. Loudly.

We have been making this trip on I-94 for over 40 years, so I am always looking for ways to enliven the journey. There is usually something interesting on the billboards. I marvel as we approach the cities with radio or TV stations: there are pictures of a series of interchangeable media “personalities”, all with the same hairstyles and veneered teeth. Usually at least one is called Biff or Buzz. He’s generally the weatherman. I mean, meteorologist. Accu-weather meteorologist.

This trip a billboard caught my eye.

GT $ FSTR

When we got closer, I saw it was a Chase Bank advertisement, which continued, “our ATMs are twice as fast.” There are lots of things banks could do faster, but I am not sure of the theory behind speedy ATMs. I mean, first you have to enter your PIN. You don’t want to do that quickly, because if you make a mistake, the machine is liable to eat your card. Then you have to stipulate whether you want the money from checking or savings. Exercise care, because if you remove money from the wrong account, we could be looking at bounced checks. Enter the amount with caution. If you want $20, you could land up with $200. Or vice versa. Then when the money comes whizzing out of the slot, you need to take your time. Put the money in your wallet, remember to take the receipt, put the card away carefully. Haste means dropping your cash or losing your card.

So why does Chase boast about faster ATMs? I use their machines regularly because my Credit Union doesn’t have ATMs dotted around Grosse Pointe. How could Chase make me happier? By removing their $2 fee for non-members of course. That’s an advertising slogan that would excite me:

GT $ CHPR